Tell Me Pastor

Confused married lovers

Dear Pastor,

I am 26 years old and living in the U.S.A. I am in love with a man that is married. I am also married but I am in the process of getting a divorce. We both got married for the wrong reason, which was to get our stay in America.

We have not had sex with each other since we both got married to our spouses, but I can't stop thinking about him. We talk on the phone every time we get a chance. I don't know what to do about this. I feel so bad because he was my man first. We had a loving relationship before we got married. I let him go because I could not help him at the time.

Pastor, I don't know what to do. I have not seen this man for about two years, but we keep in touch. I am lonely at nights. He told me I should continue holding the faith. My family loves him. However, the American girl whom he is with treats him so badly. All she does is sit home and does nothing. I know we could be great together because he is a hard working man and I am a hard working woman. I know that we could make it together.

What should I do? I need your advice. Should I move on, or should I hold the faith?

K.S., New Jersey

Dear K.S.,

What you are trying to say is that although you are married, your heart is still on this man with whom you have had an intimate relationship, but because of circumstances, both of you went apart. Both of you still feel that you are meant for each other.

You claim that you are lonely at nights. You seem to be ready to give up your marriage and to be with this man.

Whether you got married so that you can receive permanent status in America and whether he did the same, the truth is that both of you are married. And your spouses seem to be unaware that you used them to get green cards.

You said this man's wife is not treating him well. What wrong is your husband doing you? I can only say that you and this man have to live with your conscience. I am only prepared to say that I will be praying for everybody, and I will ask God to direct your actions.

Pastor