Tell Me Pastor

To 'B' or not to 'B'

DEAR PASTOR,

I am writing you this letter because I need some fatherly advice. I have been in a relationship for the past seven years. We have our ups and downs. He emotionally and mentally abuses me. He has called me the 'B' word but I have stayed with him.

I have two girls for him and I worry about what my family may think about me if I should leave. I have stayed in the relationship, letting them think that I am very happy. He is always making plans for the future for both of us however, whenever the time arises for him to put my name on anything, he does not. This makes me feel insecure because he is a very selfish person.

Whenever his mother advises him to treat me well he is nice and good for one week and the next he is back to the same thing. Finally, he purchased a piece of land and my name is still not on the title. He claims we are a team but when I ask him about marriage he says he does not believe in that. I told him that it seems as if I am good enough to have his kids but not to be his wife. I told him that I am going to leave because I am really fed up.

Please help me Pastor.

K.C. Toronto, Canada

Dear K.C.,

This man has given you concerns. After seven years, he is not treating you as someone he trusts and is very comfortable with. You shouldn't have to be begging him to marry you. His mother should also be encouraging him to marry you.

I hope you are employed. Weigh the situation carefully. Seek counselling from a family counsellor, but if you believe that this man is wasting your time and does not intend to marry you, leave him. However, before you walk out on him, get legal advice also.

Pastor