Tell Me Pastor

Family stressing me for money

Dear Pastor,

I am a 23-year-old man living in the United Kingdom. I left Jamaica two years ago. I try to keep in touch with my family as often as I can.

The problem is, every time I call, they always seem to want or need something, or they are always in some desperate situation.

Even if I say that I don't have it, they don't believe me. They don't seem to understand that the streets are not paved with gold, and that no one gives you anything unless you work very hard in the freezing cold for it.

The more I send things to them, the more they want things from me. How can I say no to their requests for help to buy food and pay rent?

It's just making me stressed out, and I feel guilty whenever I say no. I don't mind sending things to them, it is just that as soon as I get paid, the phone rings, and sometimes I don't even have enough money for myself.

My mother has three children and she does not get any help from their fathers. She is not working, but my helping them is getting a bit too much for me, as I am also suffering badly.

I need your fatherly advice.

C.M., London, U.K.

Dear C.M.,

Do your best to help your relatives in Jamaica, but don't allow them to make you feel guilty whenever you are not able to send them money or the other things that they may need from you.

It is unfortunate that many people believe that those who are living and working in the UK are always in a position to send money to their relatives and friends.They think that as soon as one goes away they always become rich overnight. They should remember that the UK is just another country where you have to work to earn a daily bread.

Your mother should take the childrens' fathers to court for maintenance. Some men have to be forced to support their children.

Make sure you save some money, my friend. Don't allow anybody to eat you out, so to speak. Watch your money. Use it wisely.

Pastor