Tell Me Pastor

I want a bigger tool

Dear Pastor

I am a 25-year-old male. My penis size is 7 1/2 inches on bad days, and if I put effort into it, it might get up to 8 inches.

I want to have 8 1/2 to 9 inches. Are there any methods besides surgery that can do this?

D.B, Florida

Dear D.B.,

I think you are either a mad man or a joker. How could a man who has a 7 inch penis complain of it being too small? You seem to want to be a donkey!

Pastor