Tell Me Pastor

Still guilty in love

Dear Pastor,

I have written to you before and you wrote back. My title was 'Arrested development'

I have taken your advice but the problem is that I cannot get the inspector of police off my mind because our relationship is deeper than sex. I am trying hard not to talk to him but I am weak. I am seriously thinking about leaving my husband and he says that he would leave his wife so that we can be together.

The problem is that I am so confused. I don't know if I am doing the right thing. Please help me to do the right thing. Despite everything, my husband is a good man. He loves me and I don't want to hurt him because I know he would be devastated if I ended our marriage. My husband is 18 years my senior.

A. J.,

New York, U.S.A.

Dear A. J.,

It appears to me that you do not love your husband. You know that he is a good man and he loves you, but you don't love him at all. The man you love is the policeman, and he has been telling you that he will divorce his wife to marry you. How do you know that he is speaking the truth? And why would you want to leave your husband? You are sure of his love and commitment to you.

Age matters now

Listen, madam, I know better than what you are saying. You don't have even one drop of love for your husband. You want a younger man. You are eager to have the policeman as he is younger. When you were marrying your husband you knew that he was 18 years your senior, so don't raise the matter of age now.

If you are hoping to get me to tell you to leave your husband, then you are wasting your time. You have already made up your mind to leave your husband. "What sweet you will sour you", as the saying goes. You're talking foolishness when you say you're trying hard not to talk to the cop. If you wanted your marriage, you would not accept his calls and you would not go anywhere with him.

Your poor husband doesn't even realise that the marriage is on shaky ground. My prayers are with him.

Pastor.