Tell Me Pastor

Love without trust

Dear Pastor,

I have a big problem. Five months ago I met a girl through a friend and we slept together a few days after. Later we found out that she is pregnant with my child. At first, we were arguing a lot about her pregnancy. She moved in with me and we have been together for almost six months. But because of the way we met and the situation that we are in, we don't trust each other. She thinks I am going to be unfaithful to her and I think the same of her.

We both have kids outside our relationship and we are trying to get along, which we are getting better at. But I don't know if we are doing the right thing. I don't know if she really loves me. It was just a one-night stand. We were not in love at the time. I used to sleep around a lot because I did not want a serious relationship at the time.

No trust

Now I am in love with her and want to marry her but I still don't trust her and she still doesn't trust me either. I proposed to her a month ago. I want to marry her. Is this the right choice for me?

M. C.,

Canada

Dear M. C,

Now that you want to marry this woman, tell her that both of you should go for premarital counselling. It is very important that people spend time in counselling before they get married. Sometimes as people go through counselling, they discover that they are not ready for marriage. Often they come to realise that certain issues should be dealt with before they say, "I do."

This young woman and you have doubts about each other. Therefore it would be unwise for you to get married without spending time in premarital counselling.

Pastor.