Commentary

Ads - where the real fun is

WHEN I WAS in high school I swear I watched enough movies to last me a lifetime. When I was in high school ­ back in the day ­ it was the introduction of what was for us teens the greatest invention since Smarties and King Kong. The introduction of the VCR!

Put things in perspective. These were the days of one local television station that signs on at 4 p.m. ­ signs off at 11:30 p.m. Yeah, a couple of your rich friends had just got a satellite dish but the arrival of VCR was liberating. You watched movies until your eyes went square ­ well, that's what my father thought would happen.

So, the arrival of cable in the last decade has probably been lost upon the likes of me. Because movie plots have to be really good to hold my attention. So the cable diet now is really just the unpredictable Law and Order (all varieties) and Charmed (okay, I am sucker for soppy girlie shows; well, sue me). But the show content is not where the real fun in cable is. No, it is in the ads.

I have taken to watching, with total amusement, the advertisements run on these wonder drugs for all ailments. P and I assess them on varying levels. So hands down the most entertaining of the medicine ads is the Lamisil one starring my boy Digger ­ the dermaphodite.

In fact, I am so enamoured by dear old Digger that I secretly wish that the Lamisil drug stopped working and that one day I might pass someone's crusty nails sticking out of their slippers and see Digger hanging out and maybe get his autograph.

But, on to those other medicine ads. It is first the sign that Americans are one sick ass set of people that they need drugs for so many things. They need tablets to feel good, think straight, go to the bathroom, have sex, and the list goes on. I was most astounded the other day by one with this woman pushing a shopping cart filled with milk and another filled with broccoli just to hear ­ 'Why eat these? Here is a pill that will give you fibre and calcium with no chewing action.'

Come on guys, eating is fun. Didn't anyone watch Soul Food and appreciate the importance of food in the bonding of family and humanity?

Then there are the herpes ads ­ always in black and white. I wonder why? But, I always wonder if the people in these ads are actors or real herpes patients. Either way it is a terrible gig even if you are getting paid ­ because everyone who sees you must still think that you have 'it.'

But, of course, the kicker enders of all these medicine ads is what is the most fascinating ­ if you are pregnant, have heart trouble, cough at night, sneeze, alive and breathe don't take this because 90 per cent of people who do keel over and die ... blah blah ... please consult your doctor before you start using this drug. Oh yes, they rattle off these warnings really fast ­ sounds to me like only trained medics should be discussing these drugs!

Well, there is the fun ­ in cable.

King Kong was a super-sized kisko pop with a straw-like duct at the side. If you don't know this I guess neither will you remember when KFC was called Tops. (I don't).

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