Tell Me Pastor

Good daddy, bad hubby

Dear Pastor,

The problem that I am having is that I have been with a man for over 13 years and we have five beautiful children together. We have had our problems since my oldest daughter was a baby and she is now 11. Their father was an abusive man. I have been through a lot with him. In June of last year he told me that he wanted the kids to live with him because he could do a better job than I was doing. His friend told me that the children's father was going to take me to court for custody of the kids. I know how nasty he can be and he is such a liar. I told him that I would let the kids live with him as long as I can see them.

Never abused the kids

Even though he abused me, he never abused the children. He is a good father but he will not let me see the kids or talk to them. He has another girl and he has the girl in my kids' life where I should be there as their mother. I am having a hard time dealing with this. I have to be getting counselling. Sometimes I feel like ending my life but it is because of my children why I have not done so. I would also like to start dating again but I compare every man that I meet to him.

Could you please tell me why am I comparing him to other men and he treated me so badly? Please help me.

S. N.,

Ontario, Canada

Dear S.N,

You should be given visitation rights. Your husband should not be allowed to keep the children away from you. I therefore suggest that you seek the help of an attorney. It is unfortunate that you made a private arrangement with your husband concerning the kids. The matter of custody should have been settled in court.

You are not yet ready to date. Your mind is not yet settled. Give yourself some more time.

Pastor.