Tell Me Pastor

Ill-fitting jacket

Dear Pastor,

I am 16 and am living in the United States of America. I would like to know if you could help me with my problem. When I was younger my father left my mother and me because he listened to other people when they said I was not his child.

He told my mother that he didn't want to be a part of my life or her life. He left us for 10 years. Even though I didn't have a father, my uncle took me as his own child and was there for my mother when she needed help. He was like a father to me and I love him so much. I call him my shinning star from God.

In 1998 my aunt was getting married and all my family members went to Jamaica to take part in the wedding. One day my mother went to the market and saw my father. They talked about me and he told my mother that he wanted to meet me.

My mother told him to come to the house. That night he came to the house, but my mother didn't tell me that he was coming. When he came to say hi I didn't know what to say because I didn't know him. My mother did not tell me he was my father.

No longer scared

When she did, I ran to my aunt. He tried to talk to me, but I did not want to talk, so he left. After a while I stopped being scared of him and talked to him. He let me know my brother, sister and some other family members.

I have visited Jamaica time after time to stay with my father. In 2002 my brother came to America.

One of my father's friends came for my brother, but didn't tell me where they were going. That night when my brother came home he was crying and when I asked him what the matter was, he told me that we had a little brother.

But I don't understand why my father didn't want me to meet him. I only wanted to know why he left me. Why did he say all these mean things and why didn't he want me to know my little brother and I would love to be a part of his life?

Pastor, can you please help me? May God bless you and be with you.

J. W.,

New York, USA

Dear J. W,

Perhaps your father still has doubts in his mind whether or not you are his biological daughter. You should discuss these things with your mother and comfort your heart with the thought that you have lived without him for many years, and if he does not want you in his life, you have your uncle who has taken his place.

Try to do well in school. When you are in doubt about family matters, talk to your mother and uncle. God be with you.

Pastor.