Tell Me Pastor

My man's a player

Dear Pastor,

I recently met a guy through a mutual friend. We all went out and we both liked each other. I called him once and he told me that I should call him often. We talked every day and then he asked me out on a date. The problem started when I figured out the password to his email.

I checked his e-mail and I saw that he was sending messages to our mutual friend's cousin. They were telling each other how much they miss the other even though this girl is dating my brother.

I decided not to say anything about what I found out to anyone. I continued talking to him. Soon the emails stopped and I knew that they were now conversing by telephone because I saw his saved number in her cellular phone. I called him once and he told me that another call was coming in for his sister so I should call him back. I called back and he answered and told me that his sister is on a call.

The following day I checked my brother's girlfriend phone and she had called him the same time when he told me that his sister was on a call. I got over that and figured that it was nothing. Recently, another girl has been emailing him and she tells him that she loves him and misses him and that just talking to him over the phone makes her know how he feels about her and words can't explain how she feels about him too. The message also stated that when he is there they could express themselves with words and action.

I know that I was wrong for checking his email but I think that I ought to know the truth about the other girls. What hurts me the most is that we are supposed to be together and he hasn't told me that he loves me but he is telling other girls. He says that he only tells people that he loves them when he loves them.

What should I do? I think that I am really falling in love with him. If I haven't already! Should I end the relationship before I get hurt? Or tell him that I know what is going on? Or should I just continue to be with him and trust that he will tell me the truth someday?

D. P

Dear D. P,

From what you have said about this man and his girls, you don't need for me to tell you what to do. If you want to play around and be used, it is up to you.

You believe in searching and one of these days you are going to search and find something that you wish you had not seen. The truth is that you are interested in a man who is playing around and he does not speak the truth. You know enough to decide whether you ought to stay or go.

Pastor