Tell Me Pastor

'N sync'

Dear Pastor,

I am hoping that you can help my fiancé and I with a big problem. We have been together for three years. He was born, raised and still is an active Christian. I was saved and baptised five years ago and am also a Christian. Since we have been together, we have fell into sexual sin and now we have a son. We stopped having sex since then.

We still consider our son a blessing as well as each other and would like to get married. We were both married and divorced before. I have another son from my first marriage. My ex husband was abusive and was sexually immoral. He had affairs, watched pornography and was involved with prostitutes. If I read the Scripture correctly, I am free to remarry. My fiancé was married for one and a half years, then was divorced. He and his ex wife got married too young and too soon after meeting each other. This marriage occurred nearly 20 years ago. Biblically speaking, it appears that he is already an adulterer and is not free to remarry and that would make me an adulteress. Is this correct?

We are worried because we realised that we sinned but we would like to do what is right in the eyes of the Lord. But it doesn't seem that we can do anything without being in sin. Can you tell us what options we have, if any?

L. H, New York, USA

Dear L.H,

If this man and you are concerned about adultery, the truth is, you have already committed it. And as I see it, nothing right now should prevent both of you from getting married. What has happened in the past is in the past and God can forgive your sins.

This man and you have a child together and, if possible, the child should grow up with both of you as parents. I suggest, therefore, that as soon as possible, you should fix your wedding date, go for counselling and get married.

Pastor