Tell Me Pastor

Right smack in the middle

Dear Pastor,

Please help me with this situation that is affecting me psychologically. I am a 17-year-old female who currently resides in the United States of America. I am having problems with both of my parents. My parents are married to different partners and this seems to be affecting them greatly.

I'm stuck in the middle of their animosity and sometimes I am forced to act out more than what I really am. Sometimes I fell like just to get away, maybe run off and get a rich boyfriend so that I don't have to be caught in this ongoing feud.

Due to this, I've started hanging out with people who are not impacting upon me positively. I have also lost contact with a lot of good friends. I was once very active in church but now church is barely on my agenda. I don't want to continue heading down the wrong path. I do very well in school but that is the least. I can't just survive on that. I need something stable in my life that will lead me in the right direction. I am not getting that from my parents and I don't know where else to turn.

Please give me your fatherly advice. I will truly appreciate it. Continue to do a spectacular service and I hope God truly blesses you.

..., New York, USA

Dear ...,

I am really sorry to hear that the situation at home is not stable, and the constant bickering your parents are having between them are affecting you. I doubt that you can do much about that. If you try to talk to them they are likely to say that you should get out of their business.

I am sure you know that if you were to talk to your mother about her attitude she would say that you are siding with your father. And, should you talk to your father about his conduct he would say that you are siding with your mother. So I do understand when you say that you are "stuck in the middle."

What you need to do is to take care of yourself and you encourage both mom and dad to try and live in peace with each other. All young people like to hang out sometimes. Some do it at shopping centres, some in parks, etc. However, they have to be careful to choose the persons with whom they hang out.

Unfortunately, you have chosen the wrong persons and as a result your good friends have abandon you. I am sure you know by now that they are seeing you from a different perspective. Perhaps they are saying that you are just like the folks with whom you are keeping company.

Now that you realise your mistake, you can end the relationship you are having with these folks you do not consider to be good. Go back to church and become active in the young people's ministry.

Call up your old friends and tell them that you have come to realise that you made mistakes. Get permission from your parents and invite them over to your house from time to time. Read good books. Above everything else pray and ask God to help you.

Pastor