Tell Me Pastor

'Pinky' and the 'Brain'

DEAR PASTOR,

I am 18 and I am involved in a relationship that is almost a year old. I love the guy very much and he loves me as well. We started having sex three months after knowing each other. Recently, he asked me to give him oral sex and I disagreed because I have never done it and I have no intention of doing it. Whenever we are in a sexual mood and I start to caress his body, he tends to take his time and push my head towards his penis and say to me "please go down on me" and instantly that just turns me off. He keeps on doing it time and time again.

In the beginning of December, I told him that if he wanted me to do it to him then he would have to do it to me first, and he said that he has never done it before. He then asked me why I wanted him to go first and I told him that that would be the only time I would do it to him. A week after that we were having sex when he asked me to go down on him again and I told him he should do it first and he said he will but I don't believe him. He keeps on saying that it will only be between the both of us but I will not go down on him if he won't do it first.

Am I being silly or plain stupid? Please give me your fatherly advice.

T. M., United Kingdom

Dear T. M,

Some people detest oral sex while others enjoy it. Some people say that it is an unhealthy thing to do, others disagree. Evidently you believe that it should not be done. Nevertheless, if your boyfriend is willing to do it to you, you will.

I cannot encourage both of you to have sex period, because you are not married.

When it comes to this matter of oral sex, I don't advocate it or condemn it. It is up to the couple to make their own decision.

Pastor