Tell Me Pastor

Premature ejaculation affecting my social life

Dear Pastor,

Greetings. Thanks for listening as I am into trouble up to my neck.

I have been having problems with women. I can't seem to control myself around them. I have premature ejaculation ever so often and it ruins every good moment that I have. My friends told me to try roots because it always works. Well, it did not work for me and the taste is bad. I have tried to change my diet, sit and meditate but nothing seems to work for me.

Let me explain to you how bad it is. Let us say I am on a date and a girl comes and hugs me. If she lies on me for more than 15 seconds and starts talking in my ears, I will get an erection and I can't control myself. Some girls feel it and figure it out but then I have a premature ejaculation, which soaks my pants and embarrasses me.

In another incident, I was sitting in a chair on a bright sunny day with a few friends. A girl started to play with me and sat in my lap. Before you knew it, it happened again. It's even worse when I try to have sex because every time a girl touches my penis, I just "go off."

I can't take this anymore. I feel as though I would cut it off just to have a decent meal and a date without an erection. I am 24 and a lot of girls like me so much, but I'm scared of some of them because of my problem. I still consider myself a virgin because every time I go to have sex with a girl, it gets messed up. At this rate, I will never have a kid or a woman.

Help me, Pastor. Are there any remedies out there that I could take that actually work? I will take any advice to stop it because the older I get, the worse it becomes. I thought I would outgrow it by now.

I started dating at age 19. I can't take anymore!

P.J., St. James, Jamaica

Dear P. J,

Your condition cannot be corrected by drinking roots. It is a technical sexual dysfunction. When a man cannot have control of his ejaculation, he definitely has a serious problem. You can receive treatment for this problem. All hope is not lost.

You ought to see a therapist who is trained in sexual dysfunction. Much of your problem relates to lack of control and I cannot explain everything here. However, I'm sure that with professional help, you would be able to overcome your problem.

I must add, that your condition is likely to get worse if you fret about it because much of what is happening to you is not as a result of a physical condition but psychological. You get excited when a woman plays with you or playfully sits on you because your feelings are out of control. It is a psychological reaction. You behave as if every time a woman plays with you, you must respond in a sexual way. The poor woman may not have that in mind at all, she is only being playful.

Brother, I urge you, to see a professional. You can receive the help you need.

Pastor