Tell Me Pastor

Flesh is weak

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I am 18 years old and have been talking to a man for eight months. I really love him. The problem is that we have never met each other. We were planning to meet each other on my 18th birthday, but we did not get the chance because he was in the country.

I lost my virginity last year when I was 17 years old by another guy. I have known this guy for the past two years. I like him but only as a friend. I know we can't have a serious relationship because I am older than he is. We still have sexual intercourse but only when I am lonely.

It is my mother's fault why I lost my virginity. I believe if I were living with my father it would not have happened so quickly. I want to stop having sex with this young guy, but I can't help myself.

Please give me your fatherly advice.

K.B.,

St. Catherine, Jamaica

Dear K.B,

The best way to prevent yourself from having sex with this young man is to keep away from him and not to allow yourself to be alone with him either at your house or his house or anywhere that is secluded. You are weak towards him and although you claim that the relationship is not serious you find it very convenient to have sex with him.

You should not blame your mother for what you have done and continue to do. You are responsible for the decisions you made, not your mother. When you had sex for the very first time you were old enough to know what you were doing. You have continued to have sex and you are using loneliness as an excuse for doing so.

No one has died from not having sex. You have to learn to control your sexual urges. It is natural to have them. Every normal person experiences sexual urges. But one does not have to yield to these urges by having sexual intercourse. Sex can be wonderful but it is not like an emergency.

You, I repeat are very weak, so keep away from this guy. If you don't, you may get yourself into trouble and live a life of regret.

Pastor.