Tell Me Pastor

Unfaithful man

Dear Pastor,

I am seeking your advice. I remember when I was living in Jamaica and things were hard, but coming here is something else. I actually got involved with this man whom my relatives admonished me about. However, I disregarded what they had to say and got involved with him. It took me a while to give in because I had doubts.

He did a great job luring me and I finally gave in. Everything was fine. I lost my mother and father and he pledged that he would be there for me. That was fulfilled. Then I made the fatal mistake and had unprotected sex with him and I got pregnant.

Things began to turn for the worse. He would take me to work and back and in the afternoon after work I would not see him until the next morning. Rumours were flying from left to right that he was married and that he was a bartender at a well-known bar. I didn't believe. I was afraid to ask, but then I developed the courage to ask and I finally did. Not surprisingly, he denied it. However, after the birth of my daughter, I again asked him to come clean and he did.

He told me everything was going to be okay and that he would continue to support us. It was a very traumatic time for me. I couldn't believe he did a very terrible thing like that, so I told him that I would no longer be able to continue in that kind of relationship. I meant every bit of what I said and as a result, I began seeking solace in other people. This made him very mad and he became very abusive.

I had to report the matter to the nearby police and he tried to lie. He was given bail after he was arrested for the alleged assault. His gun was confiscated and he came to me crying for me to drop the charges. I did because I was told that he might be in danger because of the work he does. He promised that he would not hit or interfere with me again, but this was only a wish. I have numerous scars on my body because of the beatings.

I got an opportunity to study abroad and he helped me to get there, but I had to do a whole lot of crying and begging. I am, however, here and things are very hard with me. My daughter now lives with him and she has been exposed to many types of adult behaviour. You see, pastor, I am currently unemployed, so I am unable to maintain her in anyway at all, so he does whatever he wants to do with her.

On weekends he sends her all over the globe, but he thinks she is unaware of what is happening. But on her last visit, she told me everything, although she is only four-and-a-half years old.

I am at the moment optimistic that one day I will again be able to get my daughter back and I am working hard to get there. I beg for your prayers and I also anticipate your fatherly advice.

Continue your good work. God bless you.

M.W, Plantation, Florida

Dear M.W.,

I trust that you will take advantage of the opportunity that has been given to you to study in the United States of America. I hope that you will do well and that in the near future, you will be able to help to support your daughter. Stick to your plan. Do not get frustrated. You will accomplish our goals if you work hard.

Concerning your daughter's father, you know he is a cruel man. You will have to continue to communicate with him because of your daughter. I hope however, that you will not allow him to continue to take advantage of you. I know that you regret leaving your daughter with him, but keep praying that God will watch over her.

Pastor