A TRIO OF PETITE princesses perfumed the entrance of Uptown Mondays at Savannah Plaza, Constant Spring Road with their orchestrated pretty moves. One in particular 'busted' loose with her jiggly gyrations while the other two, tried as they could, could not even bust a jiggle.

Foota Hype, a medium built slector, with plaits straining to be seen underneath a black baseball cap, rinsed out 'chunes' from Soul Tone. Uttering some sample chat, not once did he put his foot in his mouth.

"Any girl who can come up here and tell me her pickney name, her man name and her man mother name, win something, " he said.

And later; "Any girl who wearing a bingo step up." A young dancer brightly clad in a yellow blouse and black skirt showing her peeping gluteus maximus went up. Foota Hype looked then dryly said; "A nuh bingo dat, a Pon di River dat," much to the horrendous laughter.

Not satisfied Foota took it under another level by requesting "Any girl who nah wear none, come here, a brash young 'un flew to the turntable and proudly lifted up her skirt and shamelessly bared her cheeks and her Venus Mound. No it was not Wimbledon. Her prize was a fan which will most definitely be used to cool down hot embers.

Tanisha and her sparkling friend whom we shall call 'S' strolled in and made themselves a part of the main course. Tanisha, a champion looking browning dressed in a rainbow coloured halter and an extremely frilly short jeans skirt, which begged an introduction, flashed the smiles of smiles like a windscreen wiper; "Me follow mi friend because we bored," she said. Her words, smoothly rolling off her tongue and under her big, strong teeth were in itself a treat to hear.

'S' who declined to have her name in THE STAR explained that she had her picture taken once and her man was visibly shaken and upset. Hmm stupid, stupid man.

It was like an outside Palais Royale and Caesars as two girls entered a dance off and baring all for the eyes to see as to which was the better street exotic dancer.

A 'Junglist' named Allison sprinted up the stairs of the plaza and lovingly groped a pole and exposed her intimate secrets. It was no Victoria, but it was passable. Dirty soles delicately poised on the rails, she outdid herself in some outrageous dangerous dirty dancing. Christina Aguilera couldn't test. She shook, vibrated and gyrated and had the crowd in a dizzy.