Tell Me Pastor

Daddy, daddy grow up

DEAR PASTOR,

I send greetings to you in the wonderful name of Jesus. I have a really big problem. I am 17 years old and I am a Christian. My problem is that my biological father is in Jamaica. He never calls me unless I tell him to call me. Sometimes he doesn't call if I tell him to.

I have not visited Jamaica for four years but whenever my mother goes down I always send things for him. He doesn't even call to say thanks. He only told me thanks once and it was because he was beside my mom. I think that he is still in love with my mother but she is a married woman. He doesn't care for my sister and me. That is what I think.

I really love my dad but he never calls when he says he is going to.

I have a boyfriend in Jamaica and he always calls me even if I don't call him. He is better than my father. He always calls to see if I am okay. Even if it is for a minute, he calls. My dad is working but this guy is not working, so I don't see the difference. I think my dad needs to grow up. He is 40 years old. The only time he calls me is on my birthday and I am the one who tells him to call. He doesn't even know my birthday. He even gives his girlfriend his phone. So now I can't even call him.

I called him over the weekend and if you only knew what he said. I think that he should take responsibility. I won a scholarship and he knows but he never even called me to say congratulations. I don't know what is wrong with him. Sometimes I cry and when I go to church I always pray for him. People say he looks like he is suffering. I really love him even if he doesn't love me. He cursed my sister and me and said it is because we are living abroad why we are acting like that.

Here is not better than Jamaica. Only the school system might be a little different. Now my sister doesn't even care for him anymore. She is only 14 years old and she is thinking of changing her surname. Please pray for me and my boyfriend who is in Jamaica. Thanks for your time. Keep up your good work.

K.G., Ottawa, Ontario

Dear K.G.,

I am touched by your letter. When I read it, I was greatly moved. There is no question in my mind that you truly love your dad and you want to be closer to him. Your sister might have told him something that really hurt him and that is why he got upset and cursed. She is young and she might not consider what she said as disrespectful, but that is the way he took it.

I want you to help your sister by telling her that your dad has issues he has to learn to deal with and that both of you should not stop loving him and that both of you should continue to call him and express your love to him.

She may rant and rave and carry on, but you ought not to rough her up. You are older and you understand that your daddy is neglectful. I really believe that he loves you but some men do not know how to express their love to their children because they have never been taught how to do so.

Some children only hear their parents telling others how much they love their children but they have never told them neither have they expressed it by hugs and kisses.

Would you believe that some teenagers have never gotten hugs from their fathers and mothers? Some have never been told bedtime stories. You see, perhaps your father grew up the rough way. Perhaps his parents didn't tell him that they love him, so he may find it difficult to show his love to your sister and you. I want you to forgive him and keep on loving him.

Please continue to call your daddy. If you cannot reach him by his phone, call his girlfriend and tell her to ask him to call you. Father's Day will soon be here. Buy a card and send it to him. Have your sister sign it. Never give up on your father. God bless you, my dear.

Pastor