Dear Pastor,
I am with my husband to be. He asked me to marry him for almost five years now.
My problem is that he has children outside of our relationship. He and their mother separated for the longest while, but she won't give him his space. She calls him every minute telling him that the children say this and the children say that just because she wants him to come to the house. I cannot deal with that. I understand that he has to visit his kids, but why can't she understand that he has moved on with his life? Whenever he goes to take out his children, she wants to go with him also. I honestly cannot deal with that. I don't feel comfortable when he goes there much less when he goes to take them out.
Please tell me how to handle the situation because if he continues I am going to have to break up with him. He does not see anything wrong with him taking them out with their mother. I cannot accept that because they are supposed to be communicating only because of the kids. Please give me your best advice before I make a decision. Do you think he should take her out with the children and they are not involved? I am the woman he is living with.
I was in a similar situation with my child's father and he did not feel comfortable and I worked it out the best way for him and me and my child. He should consider my feelings. I need your advice.
N.B., St. Andrew
Dear N.B.,
Make up your mind. Do you want this man or not? You are fussing over a minor matter. You know the man has children with another woman. True, she may still love him, but that is not a big issue. He would always have to go there until the children have become adults. If he is taking them out and their mother wants to accompany them, what is the big deal? You shouldn't allow jealousy to get the better of you. The man is living with you. He is not going to bed with his children's mother. Do you feel that he is? I think you are overreacting and you need to stop fighting the man. If you love him, marry him. If you don't think that you trust him, call it a day and separate. Stop nagging him.
Pastor.
