DEAR PASTOR,
I have been reading your advice for many years. I am 22 years old and my husband is 28. I have a little 14-year-old cousin who came to live with us a year ago because her mother died and her father is in Jamaica.
One day I gave her a talk about sex because she is getting older, and I love her like a sister. I want the best for her and I don't have any kids. While giving her this talk, she told me a story that almost gave me a heart attack. She said that my husband has been having sex with her for the past six months.
He has been a good man to me and we have been together for six years. It is like I don't know this man. He knows how I feel about this girl, and that I have been helping my aunt with her ever since she was born.
This girl has never lied to me before. She does well in school. When she told me, I wanted to kill him. When he came from work that night, I told him to leave. He has been calling me since telling me that she is telling lies. However, I believe her. She has no reason to lie. He always wanted to take her everywhere she wanted to go and many times they were home alone. Everything makes sense to me now.
Blame myself
What hurts most is the fact that I blame myself for what happened to her. I don't know what to do. I don't know how I feel about my husband anymore.
My mom said that I should report him to the police but I have not brought myself to do this as yet. I am hurting so much. As I write to you, there are tears in my eyes. What should I do?
C.G. Brooklyn, New York
Dear C.G.,
You did the right thing by throwing this man out. It is unfortunate that this girl took so long to tell you what was going on. She probably was scared but built up courage because you were talking to her about the facts of life.
Your husband betrayed your trust. It would be difficult for you to live with him. Please continue to help the young girl. Don't be too hard on yourself. You have tried your very best. I rather suspect that it is too late to report this matter. On the other hand, you may wish to get advice from your local police.
Pastor
