Dear Pastor,
I have a male friend. He has been my best friend for about 7 years. He is the best thing that could ever happen to me. Recently, he told me that he loves me and wants us to become lovers. I told him no because I prefer to keep him as a friend rather than risk losing our friendship if we were to become intimate. I love him too, but I treasure our friendship. Do you think I should give us a chance or let it go?
C.M., Hartford, Connecticut
Dear C.M.,
There is always a risk in becoming intimate with a best friend who is of the opposite sex. You might have told him things that you would not have told your boyfriend. In other words, what I am trying to say is that he may take these things that you have told him about yourself and throw them in your face, so to speak, whenever you have a disagreement.
Mark you, others may not agree with me, and that is alright. But to me, a friend ought to remain a friend. And lovers should remain lovers. Many girls got into serious problems after becoming intimate with close friends who know all their business.
Shoulder to cry on
For example, a girl might have had a male friend and she took him into her confidence, and told him all that was going on with her boyfriend. In other words, she found shoulders on which she was able to lean. After the breaking with her boyfriend this very close friend may push her to become intimate with him. She may find him irresistible. Why? Because at that time she is vulnerable. But after a while she may come to realize that she made a big mistake.
It is up to you to do what you want to do. But I do not suggest that you become intimate with your best friend.
Pastor.
