THERE ARE SO many things I could go off on a rant on this week. There is Portia standing up - or sitting down to - parliamentary motions with regards to the Jamaica Fire Brigade. Under normal circumstances, I just might applaud her, but I can't help but notice that the brigade still ain't got no money. Then again, Jacks Hill pulled its annual stunt of nearly being razed to the ground, so who knows what will happen next?
I could talk about small town politicians who may or may not have seen too many Bruce Lee movies, but-- blah -- enough already from attention seekers.
Of course there is always the new budget. 'No new taxes' or something of the sort is declared one day. The next? 'Increase in oil bill' or words to that effect. If you can show me how an increase in oil prices will not lead to higher prices in a number of essentials, such as electricity - hence negating to an extent the need for increased taxes - you can have my salary for the entire year. Good luck with that.
Or I could talk about the number of people being killed or threatened in Jones Town, Arnett Gardens, because of a multimillion dollar housing project which has yet to see a single building block put down, but people are getting murdered, new factions made and former area leaders are being warned to stay out, but honestly, who the hell can be bothered? Not I said the fly--
Instead, I thought I would share with you something hilarious I read at around four in the morning the other-- well, morning. It was so funny that I would have burst out laughing, but I did not want to wake anyone else up (I so need to start living on my own again).
I was reading this book, whose name or author I will not state for copyright purposes, when I got to a passage where a man decided that he had to become a sexual connoisseur in order to find a way to leave his wife (long story, but fun). So he goes to a French man from whom he seeks advice on how to acquire such knowledge. The French man - a chef by the way - then proceeds to instruct the protagonist as to exactly what makes for the perfect mistress. That's when I started cracking up--
Sensibility, good health, and a good disposition - these things combined with utter selfishness. This is what makes a great mistress.
Oh hell, if I am going to start quoting the book, I guess I have to give the source, so here goes - Any God Will Do by Richard Condon, Pan Books Ltd., London, England, 1969 - copyright 1966 by the author. So there.
Why did I find this funny? Well, it was written almost 40 years ago and yet still seems so-- apt. However, the funniest part came earlier. Another quote - On the whole, I think kindness is the best policy with them. The stupid ones don't understand kindness or else seek to misunderstand it, but then they are unruly anyway. Always face them when you hit them; always look directly into their eyes as you strike, and they will learn quickly.
Now, don't get me wrong - I approve in no way whatsoever this kind of behaviour, but heaven help me, growing in the '60s must have been-- interesting, what with this, Flower Power, LSD, moon landings, Sputnik, 'I have a dream!' and the odd assassination or two to deal with. Yet one must wonder, how apt are those words today? How many women do you know who remain in abusive relationships because, well, the punishment proves that their men love them, they really love them?
Think about it.
Comments, questions,
observations? E-mail me at chaos_theory@ureach.com.
