Dear Pastor,
I am an 18-year-old female who never had sex. From I was going to high school I was a shy person. I never had a lot of friends. I am a Christian. I am even shy to take part in my church or talk to anyone or look in their faces without turning my face away.
When I was in high school many guys seemed interested in me, but I never exchanged conversation with them. When I was in tenth grade I met this guy from my community at a function. We exchanged words and from that night we have been seeing each other. Our relationship started to grow and he told me he loves me. I love him. Whenever I see him my heart beats fast and I am numb.
Don't feel like it
We go out and have a good time, but whenever we get close to each other like kissing, hugging etc. he always wants to have sex. I have to fight my way from that. I don't want to have sex. I don't have the feelings to have sex with him, but I really love him.
He tells me things that makes me feel special and I love him more. I just can't trust him. I don't know if he is faithful enough to have sex with him. I am scared of getting hurt. We have been close only six times. We don't see each other often. I don't want to have sex. All I am thinking about is my career. He is a very handsome guy and I am not so beautiful. Maybe that is what I am scared about. He just wants to have sex with me. Although I have not had sex with him, he says he loves me and always will. He said he wants me to be his wife. I love this guy to the bottom of my heart. Although we have not seen each other for a long time, whenever I go to visit my sister and see him, he is still interested in me. I am worried that this guy is just fooling me because he wants to have sex with me. Does he truly love me?
Please tell me what to do. Please pray for me.
--, Kingston
Dear ..,
You are a wise young lady. Having sex with this young man will not let him love you more. In fact, this guy seems to have a lot of sweet words for you. You are not prepared to have sex, so you should stand your ground. You need to be careful.
Yield to temptation
If you continue to allow him to toy with you, you may yield to the temptation to have sex with him. I repeat, having sex with him will not cause him to love you more. Many guys after having sex with girls, leave them because they feel they have conquered them and it is time for them to move on to others.
I think you also have to work on your self-esteem. You should learn to think highly of yourself and to accept yourself. God created you. You are beautiful. Nobody in the world is better than you.
Pastor.
