Dear Pastor,
I am a 15-year-old girl, I used to live in the U.S., but I now live in Jamaica with my father and stepmother. That is not the problem. I love living here with my parents. I know I am young, but I have a boyfriend. He is 19. He is very sweet, smart and not to mention very, very sexy.
We met some time in November last year at a 'dead yard'. It was my first experience in Jamaica. As we met, we hit it off well. Believe it or not, that was the first and last time I saw him. That is not a problem for me because we talk almost every day. He says he loves me and I know he does. I love him too. We are living in different parishes. A lot of my friends ask me if I don't think 'he is giving me bun'. But I don't think so. I really trust him.
I am writing to asking you what I should do about the feelings I am having for him. He is just giving me sweet lines. Whenever I talk to him about how I feel, he just says 'When I say something to you babes, I mean it'.
Don't worry, pastor, I am concentrating on my school work and getting very good grades. I attend one of the best schools in the parish of St. Ann. Take care. I love your column.
S.S.,
St. Ann
Dear S.S.,
It is quite normal for a girl to have a crush on a guy. I know it is a crush. You are only 15 and you are only looking at this guy's physique and hearing his sweet talk etc. You have only met him once, so you do not know much about his character. You cannot be sure he is speaking the truth. Yes, he may have other girlfriend and sweet talking them the same way.
Sweet words
Some guys know how to knock girls off their feet, so to speak. And every girl likes to hear sweet words in their ears. It makes her feel that she is wanted and important. And that is why a girl has to learn to trust her parents or guardian. She shouldn't hide anything from them. She should tell them exactly what is happening.
I hope you have told your parents about this guy. It is true that some parents react the wrong way when their girl children tell them what guys are saying to them. However, wise parents know that it is natural for a guy to see a girl and be attracted to her or for a girl to see a guy and be attracted to him. That is natural. When parents know what is happening they can give guidance.
It is better for a girl your age to have many social boyfriends. It is not wise to establish a serious relationship at 15.
Concerning your feelings, please understand that to be emotionally aroused and even to have sexual urges, does not mean that you are ready for sexual intercourse or to go steady with a guy.
Tell your parents about this guy.
Pastor.
