Tell Me Pastor

I don't want her to leave

Dear Pastor,

I got married when I was 21. My wife has been a wonderful person. Unfortunately, I was not always so wonderful. I was abusive emotionally, verbally and was often breaking her down and controlling everything. We went for counselling.

I changed my ways over the past few years and I am a different person. She has even acknowledged this. She wants a divorce and she intends to leave me one day regardless. We have two children and a very good home life, and I feel so awful for my children as the sins of my past are coming to haunt them. I want so badly to honour the Lord, my children and my wife. I don't know what more I can do. We have been to counselling and they indicated that though I am a changed person, it doesn't take away the past and her right to leave.

Please help me.

C.W., St. Mary

Dear C.W.,

You speak highly of your wife now. Too bad that it has taken you so long to come to realize that she is a woman of'noble character'. Although you have gone for counselling and your wife has admitted that your behaviour has changed, she is determined to end the relationship. Sir, I have said repeatedly that when a woman has made up her mind to leave a man, there is nothing he can do to prevent her. He may foolishly threaten her, but while he is threatening her, she will find a way to leave him. I don't know why your wife is determined to leave you, but I must say to you, don't try to prevent her. Separation sometimes can help a relationship. Sometimes couples reunite after they have been apart for a while.

Pastor