Dear Pastor,
I am a woman that has been married for six years. At the start of my marriage my husband was awful. We began to hate each other and I decided to leave. I met someone else and moved away. When I returned, my husband begged me to come back, and I did. Lo and behold, he had a child with the woman I despised, and that was the reason I left him.
He does not get along with his child's mother, but he would love to spend time with his child. I have no problem with that, but I don't want the child around me because of the problems I have with the mother. She uses the child to make our lives hell. Am I wrong for not sharing in this child's life with him? After all, it is his child, not mine.
C.S.,
New York
Dear C.S.,
I believe you are trying to say that you do not want your husband to bring the child to your house. I believe your husband should understand how you feel. Every time you see the child, he reminds you of your husband's infidelity.
But wait a minute. Be careful what you do. You have had an affair too. Fortunately, you did not get pregnant. In any case, your husband forgave you. Always remember that.
I would like to remind you that the child is not to be punished for what his mother and your husband did together. Your husband must continue to do his best for his son and that will mean to spend quality time with him.
If you do not want the child at your home at all, it is likely that your husband may feel that he should visit him at his mother's house from time to time. You wouldn't want that. Would you?
You see, what I am trying to show you is that you should work with your husband in this matter. Yes, the woman is making your life miserable. Yes, you despise her. But, if you love your husband and you have forgiven him for becoming involved with this woman, you should go a step further and try to accept his son. God will bless you for not hating that young boy.
When you pray in the morning or at night, pray for the boy. Show him love. He may grow up to love you.
Pastor
