Dear Pastor,
I am 25-years-old. I am currently living in the United States of America. I have an on going problem for quite some time now, and I would like to get your advice. I am in a relationship for almost five years with my child's father. The problem is that I have very strong feelings for another guy.
He is someone I liked for almost my entire life, even before I met my child's dad. In 1998 I went to Jamaica. We spoke for the very first time and I told him how I felt about him and for how long I have been having these feelings. He asked me why I didn't tell him.
I guess I was too shy to let him know. After I returned to the United States of America, I called him every chance I got. I went back to see him in 1999. Every time he invited me to go out with him, I made up some excuses why I couldn't go. After I came back to the States in 1999 I met my boyfriend. I decided that it was better to be with him because he lives here in the States. I don't think long distance relationships work.
I try not to think about the young man in Jamaica seeing that I was just getting into a new relationship. I heard he is now living in the States. A few weeks ago I had a dream about him and ever since I can't get him off my mind. I know my child's father loves me very much. He is always there for me. I just can't help the way I feel about the other guy. He is constantly on my mind. Could it be that I never got over him? Can you please help me?
K.F.,
Miramar, Florida
Dear K.F.,
I suggest that you continue the relationship you are having with your child's father. He loves you and he cares for you. You are not sure how the other guy feels about you. You have admired him and you have had "strong feelings" for him. But does he you love? And would he be as good to you as your child's father? It is not unusual for a girl to think about another man, especially one she has admired for many years.
However, most times when a guy knows that a girl loves him and he is not interested in her, he plays around with her just for fun. And after he is tired of her, he dumps her. If you were comfortable with the guy you would have gone out with him while you were in Jamaica. You had your doubts then and you have your doubts now.I repeat, stick with your child's father.Pastor
