Dear Pastor,
I am currently residing in Florida. I am living with my parents. I have been quite a hassle for my parents in the past. I ran away. I have been promiscuous and I have got my parents in trouble with the law. I regret my past dearly and I wish time was reversible, but it is not. My problem is that my parents do not trust me at all, and I am currently trying my hardest to gain their trust again by starting to open up to them and sharing my issues with them. But it always happen that every time I tell my parents something, if I do anything wrong, they use it against me.
I am now 17-years-old and I really want to have a boyfriend. My parents do not want me to have one, but I have had one in the past without them knowing.
Now because I am growing up, I have decided to introduce my boyfriend to them. I am going to introduce him as my friend. He is 19 years old and will be 20 this year. Do you think it is wise to do this? I am scared to do it because every time he calls they are going to be suspicious about everything and that drives me crazy.
Another thing that upsets me is the fact that my mom got pregnant at my age and moved in with my dad when he was 19 years old. They were young parents so I don't understand why they have to be so hard on me. They get upset with me when I do petty things like not washing the dishes or not bathing my little sister at a particular time. I get really fed up with them at times because I am not the typical teenager to slam doors, curse at them or 'backchat' them.
Because of this I have made the decision to move in with my boyfriend and his parents when I turn 18. From there I will be going to college.
Please advice me as to what I should do.
S., Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Dear S.,
I am pleased that you are talking to your parents about how you feel. Communication is very important and although sometimes they would remind you of the things you told them in a very negative way, don't allow that to discourage you or to prevent you from informing them what you are going through. They should be very happy that you are learning to trust them and although they may find it difficult to trust you because of the mistakes you have made in the past, they should at least try.
May I suggest that you tell them that you have a boyfriend. Oh, I know you are reluctant in doing so, but you should. And you should not consider leaving home and shacking up with your boyfriend. When you are leaving your parents home, it should be after you are married or you are attending college away from home and staying on campus, etc. Never live with a man in concubinage.
Pastor
