Tell Me Pastor

Married for all the wrong reasons

Dear Pastor,

I am a 30-year-old mother of two children who is presently residing overseas. I married someone I was involved with because I wanted to help him. He had helped me at a desperate point in my life. I have started filing the papers for him but I have recently gotten involved with another man.

This man does not reside here. He also lives in Jamaica. I am so confused.

Such a burden

I don't know whom I should be with. I know I married my husband to get him here but it seems more like a burden than anything else at this point, especially since I met this other young man. I believe in my heart that the only reason I got involved with my husband was to get over my ex-boyfriend at the time.

I don't know what to do. I want to make the right decision for myself and for these men whom I care about. I just don't know if I can ever trust another man after everything I have been through with my ex-boyfriend. Please help me to make the right decision for everyone's sake. I don't want to hurt anyone, especially myself. I just want a fresh start.

V.W., Canada

Dear V.W.,

The truth is, you don't love your husband. You only married him so that he could live in Canada and for you to cope with the stresses your ex-boyfriend. You will never be happy with him because you got married for the wrong reason. Perhaps you care for him, but you are really and truly not in love with him. Perhaps he is not aware of it but it would not be long before he finds out that your heart is not with him. I wish it were possible for you to love him. You are going to cause this man much distress. But one day you will have to tell him the truth, and what is the truth? You do not love him.

Pastor