Tell Me Pastor

The cat's coming back!

Dear Pastor,

I am an 18-year-old student living with a married man for the past year. His wife is overseas working. I was hired to take care of their three-year-old daughter part-time and I am sleeping with him. I am now two months' pregnant. He is 34 years old and has been married for the past eight years. His wife is coming back very soon and he doesn't want me to have an abortion but he won't leave his wife for me.

What should I do?

K.W., Manchester

Dear K.W.,

I suggest that you get out of the woman's house before she returns. It is very unfortunate that you got sexually involved with this man and he didn't even try to protect you from pregnancy. I hope that he will not try to put the blame on you but that he will give you everything that you need to prepare for the child. And I also hope that he will support the child.

I suggest also that you consider giving him the baby. His wife may object to him bringing a baby into the matrimonial home but he may be able to arrange with one of his relatives to keep the baby. What I am trying to say to you my dear, is that you are only 18 and that you should go back to school. A child would hold you back. This man may try to convince you to keep the child and may try to sweeten you up but when his wife turns the screws on him he may not keep his promises to you. I am not telling you that you should forsake your child, but if he can make arrangements with his relatives to keep the baby so that you can go back to school, say thanks to God and forget this man.

Remember what I said, leave the house before this man's wife returns. And please, do not try to curse the man's wife. Be prepared to endure the lies he may tell his wife about you. One of the things he may say about you is that you pushed yourself on him. He may even say that while he was sleeping you came into his bed.

Pastor