Tell Me Pastor

My father does not support mommy

Dear Pastor,

This is the first time I am writing to you. I hope you and your crew are fine. My problem is that my dad, my brother and I are living in the United States of America.

My dad has a long distant relationship with another woman apart from his wife who is my mom. She lives in Jamaica. He sends money for her every week ranging from $US200 to $US500. I do not have a problem if he should send his money to her, but he doesn't send money to my mom. He can afford to send money every week to this woman who doesn't give him a helping hand. All she does is to drain his pocket.

The next thing I see is that she sent him x-rated pictures of herself which to me is very disrespectful of her knowing that he is married and have kids. I am not blaming it on her alone because it takes two persons to do wrong in this case.

Whenever I ask him for anything he will ask me if I am not working. When he finally gives me the money, it is half of what I ask him for. Yet he can send money to this woman who doesn't have any children for him.

Please tell me what to do. I am awaiting your reply.

J., Connecticut

Dear J.,

I understand what you are trying to say. You are very upset because your father is supporting his other woman and is not sending any money to your mother who is his wife. Evidently, he cannot support both of them. But he is more interested in the other woman. If indeed he is sending $US200 to $US500 per week for this woman, he is giving her the impression that she is number one in his life.

I wonder what you mean by x-rated pictures of herself. She knows what your father loves to see. If he didn't like these pictures, he would have told her not to send him anymore. I am sure he would be very upset if he knew that you have seen these pictures and that you have talked about them.

I know you are concerned about the relationship your father is having with this woman and the breakdown of his marriage.

Perhaps the time has come for you to ask your dad. Nevertheless, I suggest that you be very careful what you say to your father about this woman. He may tell you that you should mind your own business. He may also feel that you are taking news to your mother. He may make things really difficult for you.

Pray for your father and talk up your mother in his presence at all times. By doing so, he would know that you love and care for her.

Pastor