Tell Me Pastor

Husband treats me very badly

Dear Pastor,

Let me first congratulate you on the awesome work you are doing on the behalf of the Jamaican people and as a service for our soon coming King. I have two children and I married a man who has three children of his own. I am a practicing Christian and my husband is not.

The problem I am facing with my husband is that he does not know the significance of marriage. My husband has an underage child and she comes before me. He will give her his last penny and leave me to fend for myself. I try to tell him that when he took his marriage vows, he promised God and me that he would forsake all others and that included his minor child.

Now, pastor, don't get me wrong. I am not saying that my husband is not to support his child or love her. What I am saying is that he is obligated to me as his wife. My husband has never given me or my children a Christmas, birthday, anniversary or valentine gift. And he gives gifts to his daughter on all occasions. I travel and I always shop for my children and my stepdaughter. I get support from my children's father for them and I have on occasion given my husband money when his child is ill.

We never had marriage counselling and that was a mistake. I am unable to convince my husband that the way he treats me is a sin in God's eyes. He refuses to go for counselling. He tells me he does not need it. He tells me in his daughter's presence that I am selfish. I know my husband is wrong, but I need someone other than myself to tell him he is displeasing God.

He told me that his ex-girlfriend is working witchcraft against me, yet he still visits her house. I don't believe in witchcraft. My husband is not living up to his responsibility as a provider, protector, leader and teacher.

Please help us, pastor, as I am not ready for a divorce. You pray for me and I promise I will pray for you so you will live longer to continue to help the Jamaican people.

D.S.,

Dear D.S.,

You decided to marry this man who is not a Christian, so you should not expect him to behave as a Christian. It is quite evident however that he needs to understand that he is under moral obligation to support you and to treat you well. I am glad you try to explain what you meant by your husband should forsake 'all others and that includes his minor child'.

You see, according to the Bible, any man who does not support his household is 'worse than an infidel'. Your husband should not only support his child, but everyone who lives in his house. When he agreed to marry you, he knew that you had children. So he cannot behave as if he is not responsible for them. Although you are receiving support from their father, he should show them that he loves them and give them gifts as often as possible.

I am sure the relationship with your husband could be strengthened if both of you were to attend counselling. I am sorry he is not willing to go. I wonder why he is visiting his ex-girlfriend. Does he believe in witchcraft too? Keep trusting God, my dear lady. Do not give up on your husband. Pray for him. Do not nag him. Show him much love and trust the Lord to save him.

Pastor