Tell Me Pastor

He's only after sex

Dear Pastor,

I have recently got out of a relationship that affected me very badly. It has affected the way I feel about trusting men.

Recently, I met a guy who makes me think otherwise. I have been talking to him and trying to get to know him. We spend a lot of time together. However, he seems to be rushing to have sex with me. I told him that I am not ready but he still persists. Sometimes he makes me feel like giving in but I don't want to appear as some girls who only want sex. I told him that I want a relationship and he just laughed. It seems as if he is not sure about what he wants and he says that I do not know what I want too.

Mixed signals

When we are alone, he seems more interested in me than when we are in public. It seems as if he is giving me mixed signals. One minute he is after me, and the next, he is pushing me away. I really like him a lot and I want to be more than friends, more than just a one-night stand. How can I tell him this? I don't want to rush into anything; I just want to work my way up with him.

Pastor, please help me.

J.C., Miami, Florida

Dear J.C.,

This guy is after one thing and you know it. He wants to get under your skirt. He is really not interested in a permanent or lasting relationship with you. He wants to 'ride' whenever he feels like. If you are willing, he is ready. Sex is more important to him than a good solid relationship.

You have observed the way he behaves when you are together in public. He is not very eager for people to know that both for you are going together. That should tell you that he is only after your body. When both of you are alone, he is all over you because he is trying to get that 'thing'.

I hope you get the message and I hope that you will not allow him to use you.

Pastor.