Tell Me Pastor

Family secrets

Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column since I was a teenager. I have seen where you helped many people and I hope that you can help me too. My letter is somewhat different from the norm.

My father lived in England since about 1959. My mother was pregnant when he left, and after I was born I lived with him for a short period of time. My stepmother was physically abusing me and so he took me back to my grandmother in Jamaica.

Surgery

When I was a teenager I moved to live with my mother in Canada. I later lost touch with my dad. One day, my older half sister called me from Jamaica. She also had my father on the line. He told me that he was going to have a kidney transplant and that I should send him a photo so that he could give it to his lawyer in case something happened to him. I sent the photo.

While undergoing surgery, my dad passed away. My sister called and told me the news and also that he had sent her a letter with his lawyer's information and information on how his legacy should be shared. She said she threw away the letter earlier because she did not think that he would die. Later she resigned her job as a bank manager, sold her house, and moved to Florida. Even this day, she denies getting her share of the inheritance and I am still struggling in Canada.

His ex-wife sued the hospital on the behalf of the grown kids and won. Still I have not gotten anything. I called the British High Commission here in Canada and they told me that I have to find a British lawyer. I cannot afford one.

My dad passed away in 1984. Is it too late to do anything?

S.R., Scarborough, Ontario

Dear S.R.,

Why did your sister destroy the letter your father wrote? That is strange indeed. According to what you have said, the letter was destroyed before he died. If indeed she told you that is what she did, I am not surprised that you have your doubts about what really happened.

It seems to me that your father tried to protect your interests. Too bad things have not gone the way he wished. Whether you can receive help at this late stage is doubtful. Do you know what your father owned? Your sister could be of great help if she is interested in cooperating with you.

I suggest that you get a lawyer in Canada to write your sister and to enquire about your father's estate. That would not cost you much. At least you have a right to know what has happened. Very often people say that they cannot afford to pay a lawyer, but lawyers are human beings and it is not everything that they do cost their clients a lot of money.

Pastor